My husband and I never really bought into the “fear of SIDS” mentality. Do we believe that babies die unexpectedly and for unknown reasons? Yes. Would we be upset if our baby died? Yes. Do we believe that we can prevent SIDS? No.
We talked about this topic at length as we were preparing for our baby to arrive and in the months after she was born. We were both in agreement that SIDS existed but it was not something that we needed to worry about.
Here were our reasons.
1) The truth is, no one knows what causes SIDS. Experts have many guesses (e.g. sleeping on tummy, sleeping with blankets, gasses from the crib mattress, sleeping on soft surfaces, co-sleeping with parents, etc.). But the actual cause is not known. These are all just theories.
2) We’d rather enjoy our baby than worry. There are so many theories about what causes SIDS and with those endless possible things to worry about. We didn’t want to waste our time being stressed and fearful of what may possibly happen. Instead, we wanted to have fun with our baby and enjoy being parents. Even if our baby was to die, we’d rather look back at the short time we had together with happy memories.
3) If our baby is meant to die then there is nothing we can do about it. This sounds a bit harsh but let me explain. This reason reflects our beliefs that there is a bigger plan for all of us. If that involves the death of our baby then we are meant to have that experience. We are meant to learn from it and grow from it despite how difficult it would be.
4) We believe our baby chose to be here. We believe that each of us is 100% responsible for everything that happens in our lives, including babies. From our more spiritual point-of-view we believe that there are only two possible causes of SIDS: the baby got what he/she needed from this lifetime, or he/she changed their mind about being here.
5) We wanted to believe our baby would live. It felt better to think of all of the fun we were having together and would have together over a lifetime than wondering what it would be like for our baby to die. There’s nothing wrong with making a choice to be happy.