Struggling to get pregnant can be an emotional roller-coaster whether you’ve been trying for 3 months or 3 years. I wish I had been able to get pregnant faster but I learned so much through the experience. I muddled through different strategies, refusing to head down the fertility clinic path. If you want to get pregnant faster and naturally be sure to read the following 7 tips I learned while trying to get pregnant.
1. Identify the Type of Pregnancy You Want
What is your perfect or ideal pregnancy? You can focus on physical, emotional, or even spiritual aspects of pregnancy. Write down exactly what you want without worrying whether or not you’ll get it. This is a visualization exercise similar to what high performing athletes do before a race or championship game. They visualize the final outcome and practice feeling that victorious sense of accomplishment.
When you’re creating it, you’ll feel great thinking about your ideal pregnancy. If this exercise makes you feel sad or deflated then stop and try again another time.
For this exercise, you can create a simple list or something more creative and colourful. Hang it on the wall and stare at everyday. I hung mine next to the mirror where I dry my hair. Again, this is meant to make you feel good. Don’t worry if it doesn’t always make you happy. If it consistently upsets you then remove it or turn it around.
2. Monitor Your Feelings
How you feel makes all the difference in the world. If you feel good, it means you are focusing on what you want. If you feel bad, it means you are focusing on what you don’t want.
Feeling good means you are moving toward what you want. Feeling bad means you are moving away from what you want.
Confused? You could be thinking about getting pregnant which is something you absolutely want but you may feel upset when you do. If this is the case, it means you are actually thinking about not being pregnant (maybe questioning why you’re not pregnant yet, what you’re doing wrong, why hasn’t it happened, etc.).
Notice how you feel. If you feel bad show yourself compassion. This is exercise is more about being aware of your thoughts and feelings rather than trying to be perfectly positive all the time.
3. Choose Responses That Feel Good
Inevitably, life will throw situations at you that may be hard to deal with. Your best friend gets pregnant. Your boss asks you when you’re going to have children. You’ll see a pregnant woman smoking and wonder why she deserves a baby more than you.
Your responses to these situations are critical. They may upset you at first but you have the power to ensure they don’t send you into a downward spiral.
The goal here is to shift your emotions from feeling bad to slightly better. Don’t expect to go from depressed to joyful immediately. It’s too big of a jump. Instead, shift your focus slightly. Pay attention to how you feel as you shift your focus.
My favourite response when people asked whether I had children was “not yet” instead of no. “No” felt permanent. “Not yet” felt hopeful to me. It meant it would happen at some point.
When people asked me when I was going to have children I learned to respond with “when I’m ready”. This response usually ended further questioning while leaving me hopeful that I would get pregnant when I was meant to.
Play with your responses. If you’re answer leaves you feeling bad then plan a revised response so you’re ready next time.
4. Learn to be Happy for its Own Sake
You want to get pregnant for the same reason you want anything in life. You believe it will make you happier. Therefore, the ultimate goal is not to get pregnant but rather to be happier.
This is tricky for many people to get their head around. You may have all sorts of other reasons for wanting to get pregnant and have children. I would challenge you to reflect deeper and wager that all of those reasons can be boiled down to the lowest common denominator: you believe you’ll be happier.
So wouldn’t it then make sense to focus on becoming happier rather than getting pregnant?
This isn’t about giving up on your dream of getting pregnant. It’s about giving up the idea that your happiness (everything you want) is dependent upon having a baby.
5. List Your Priorities
Sit down with your significant other. Each of you should write down your own list of everything you’ve got going on in your life. Work, school, seeing family, trying to have a baby, maintaining your house, socializing with friends, playing sports, hitting the gym, spending time with each other. Write down everything that occupies your time.
Re-write the list in order of how you’ve been spending your time over the last couple of months. This is an indication of how you’re choosing to prioritize your life.
Next, put a number next to each item in terms of how you want to be living your life.
Compare your lists. Talk about how your priorities align and how they don’t. When my husband and I did this we found that we were spending a lot of time doing things that we didn’t believe were important.
Come up with a joint list of how you want to live your life and work toward shifting your activities in that direction. If you can’t figure out how to shift right away that’s ok. Just focus on the new awareness you have.
Similar to Tip#1, this exercise will help the two of you jointly work toward the life you want, which includes getting pregnant and having children.
6. Listen to Your Feelings
It’s easy to get caught up in what you “should” do. However, you have a powerful tool at your disposal: your internal guidance system. This is your gut feeling or your emotions.
For my husband and I, going with a fertility clinic felt like it would confuse us and cause us stress. We believed we were meant to be pregnant. All of the evidence (mainly not being able to get pregnant for over a year) suggested this would not be the case. However, we went with our gut and got pregnant 6 months later on our own.
Many of our friends and family questioned our decision, wondering why we weren’t doing everything possible to get pregnant.
It was difficult, but we trusted our gut feelings above all else. Those feelings got us to exactly where we wanted to go.
If your gut feeling tells you to head to a fertility clinic then go for it. Just make sure you’re doing it because it feels right, not because you think you have to.
7. Pay Attention to Your Body
Your body is giving you constant feedback and you need to listen. It’s so easy to ignore the signals of our body as we go about our busy lives. However, you can use various tools such as meditation or ovulation tests to get in tune with your body.
Start with noticing simple connections between what you are doing and how your are feeling, like feeling sleepy 20 minutes after eating fast food. I got to a point where I knew exactly when I was most fertile based on a heavy feeling in my pelvis. This led to two pregnancies.
Gradually develop your awareness but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. The important take-away here is to slow down and pay attention.
So there you have it – my 7 tips to get pregnant faster and naturally. I wish you luck on your journey toward having children and I challenge you to try at least one of the seven tips! They all helped me get pregnant multiple times.